


Love That Never Fades

by eauline



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eauline/pseuds/eauline
Summary: Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff's flourishing love through the eyes of their teammates.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 10
Kudos: 184





	Love That Never Fades

**Author's Note:**

> This needs editing (badly), but I figured I'd post it anyway. Endgame ripped out my heart, and I write things like this to piece it back together. I hope it somewhat does the same for you.

**[ I ]**

Sam Wilson knew that Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff were best friends. Everyone did actually, but those who denied it because they thought Steve and Natasha were too different to get along were blind, oblivious to the way they looked at one another, the small touches they shared, and the way they _always_ had one another's back.

This time was no exception as they and Sam were completing a mission in the frigid mountains of Canada.

Steve had covered Natasha's six while she was hacking into the antecedent Hydra base, and a bullet had pierced his shoulder as he had been shielding her from the terrorists' onslaught. He was a super-solider, one of the most selfless and strongest men that Sam had ever known, but strength could only go so far as Steve had continued to fight in knee deep snow with a bullet in his shoulder. They had won, _yes_ , bringing down the base in a furry of searing flames, but at what cost? They still hadn't received instructions about extraction, and it was evident Steve's injury was beginning to take a toll on him. He lay on a thick blanket underneath the tent Sam had swiftly propped up, pale as the snow around them while Natasha cleaned his wound with trembling hands and glassy, verdant eyes.

Sam had yet to figured out if it was from the cold or the fact that Steve had gotten hurt protecting her.

"Why can't Hydra build a base in the Caribbean or something? I'm sick of this cold!" He said as a bitter chill went up his spine, and he tugged his coat around him. He felt useless as Natasha convened on Steve but every time he tried to help, she pushed him away and ordered him to carry out some mundane task.

"The only damn thing we don't have is a space heater and tweezers to get this bullet out. The wound is already starting to close." Natasha said in frustration as she guided Steve to a sitting position. She then tugged her own thermal blanket off her shoulders and tucked it around him, even as he shook his head in dissent.

"Even if we had a heater, we have no where to plug it in." Steve quipped, making Sam chuckle while Natasha simply glowered at him. Even with a bullet lodged in his shoulder blade, the stubborn man _still_ had an impish remark.

Sam settled in the tent across from Steve, pulling his blanket around himself as he watched Natasha dig through the little supplies they were given. It was supposed to be a simple mission, but the word 'simple' and the Avengers never alloyed. There was always one more terrorist to take down, one more civilian to save, or one more _fucking_ alien that spit fire at them. Sometimes, he missed his old life - a _simple_ one consisting of morning runs and long nights at the VA. However, he had swiftly adapted to life as an Avenger, and he loved being back out in the field again, especially with such great teammates. Sometimes though, when it was just he, Steve, and Natasha, he felt like the odd man out. Those were the times he was wholeheartedly convinced his friends were actually more than best friends.

"Nat, come here. I'm fine, and I'm sure Maria will contact us soon." Steve said, breaking the silence between them as he sat up on his knees before swiftly sitting back down as his broad shoulder rounded forward painfully.

Natasha ignored him as she pulled out more and more supplies that they didn't need and would be no use to them. Although, Sam definitely didn't have the nerve to tell the fiery redhead that. He'd known Natasha for six months now, and he knew her well enough that he would never want to get caught in the Black Widow's web. Steve, on the other hand, knew her like no one else did and was the only one brave enough to pick a fight with her, even in times when Clint wouldn't.

"What if she doesn't? I can't get that bullet out, Steve." Natasha snapped.

"Then Bruce will take it out when we get back. Please relax, and come here." He implored.

Sam bit back a smirk as he watched Natasha pause, the wheels seeming to turn in her head as she decided whether or not to heed Steve's words that had a cogent amount of truth to them. To Sam, the choice was clear, and it seemed it was for her as well as she threw the supplies together and sat down beside Steve with a vexed _huff_.

He drew his arms around her so she was underneath the blankets as well, and she sat between his legs with her arms around his waist. It wasn't unusual for them - they often shared a blanket when the team sat down to watch a movie. What was unusual was the way Natasha curled into him as she reached up to brush her hand across the sharp arch of his jaw before she tucked her head into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes as he brushed a tender kiss to her forehead.

Sam looked away, the moment entirely too intimate for him to feel comfortable watching, even though he knew if he were to tease them about it, they would say that they were just cuddling to keep warm. Over the months, he learned that there was two sides to the woman in front of them. There was the Black Widow - the merciless assassin the Red Room had molded into the perfect weapon. Then, there was Natasha Romanoff - a bright, joyful woman that Steve drew laughter from like no one else could. Their relationship had seemed platonic but now, with the way she relaxed in his arms like it was as easy as breathing, Sam knew there was something brewing underneath the surface of the still waters.

"Your heart is racing." Steve mused to her, an adoring smile on his lips as he held Natasha as though she was his to love.

"Is yours still beating, old man?" She smirked, not lifting her head from the nape of his neck as she nuzzled her nose against his skin.

They all laughed at her remark.

• • •

**[ I I ]**

The Avengers Tower was brilliantly embellished with sparkling chandeliers along with aesthetic decorations for the charity event Tony Stark was hosting that evening, and Bruce Banner speculated that the food Tony Stark (or maybe it was Pepper's doing) ordered might have cost even more than his apartment in the quiet town of Maine he resided in. He sipped his wine as red as blood as he strode amongst the crowd of his teammates and those who were most likely as rich as Tony but only willing to give a fragment of their money to those who needed it the most. He tried not to be bitter about it... he tried not to think about the sickly children he had cared for and the dying elderly who had no chance of recovering from a sickness that could've been prevented, but it was impossible not to. Still, he tried his best to relish in good company and delicious food.

He walked up to the lavish dessert table but just as he reached for a plate, Clint caught his attention with a wave of his hand as he gestured Bruce over to where he stood along with Steve, Natasha, and Rhodey.

Immediately, he was drawn to Natasha who stood beside Steve, her emerald orbs glowing in the lights and her dark blue dress embellishing the curves she wasn't demure about showing off. He walked towards his teammates, trying to catch her eyes that seemed to look at everything but him. Ever since she had recruited him for the Avengers Initiative, he had been entirely enraptured with the Russian. There was just something about her that he couldn't put his finger on, and it wasn't just her breathtaking, feminine features that sparked interest in him. He tried hard to get her attention, to at least get her to look at him the way she looked at Steve, but it was to no avail.

That didn't mean he was going to give up, however.

As he neared them, Clint flashed him a smile, and Bruce returned it. "Tell these idiots that we saw Thor playing with a dog yesterday! Rhodey and Nat don't believe me." He said sounding entirely vexed.

Bruce chuckled with a slight shake of his head. He and Clint had, in fact, seen the Asgardian playing fetch with one of their technician's dogs but if he hadn't seen it for himself, he wouldn't have believed it either. However, before he could back up Clint, Natasha chimed in with a dazzling laugh that made his pulse jump.

"Thor is a God. Do they even have dogs in Asgard?" She said, lifting her cocktail up to her entirely kissable lips and taking a sip.

Bruce momentarily forgot what they were conversing about as he watched her.

Steve tilted his chin down and smirked charmingly at her. "You should go ask him, but I think he's been on Earth long enough to know what a dog is." He said as he gently nudged her with his elbow.

She rolled her eyes at him before she handed Steve her drink so she could flatten the hem of her dress. "Don't sass me, Rogers." She jested.

"I'll go ask him now. I just can't believe that." Rhodey mused, stepping away from them to find Thor somewhere in the crowd.

"I get to say I told you so!" Bruce called after Rhodey. It was a ridiculous thing to contend over, but it was always nice to be right once in a while.

Clint humphed in satisfaction as he watched their friend walk away before he turned to look at Steve. "Why haven't you tore up the dance floor yet? Or is the music not old enough for you?"

 _Please go dance,_ Bruce thought to himself. Maybe then, he'd be able to draw Natasha away and converse with her privately about everything and nothing, to try and get to know the woman behind the walls she had built between them. If he had the chance to show her that he could be more than an acquaintance, maybe he would stick around New York more often.

"Oh, I think he was just about to ask me." Natasha smiled up at him, setting down her drink on the table behind her and looking at Steve expectantly.

Bruce resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes, their little quips and touches were ludicrous. Over and over again, they denied ardor for one another and claimed that they were merely friends. He believed them for the most part, even if he didn't know exactly what they were. However, his other teammates often jested about their blooming relationship and how Steve couldn't keep his hands off of her while Natasha couldn't keep her eyes off of him.

"Yeah, I was." Steve chuckled lowly, placing his hand on the arch of her lower back as they walked to the dazzling dance floor.

Bruce and Clint watched as they turned to face one another, and Natasha threw her head back, laughing joyously as Steve pulled her to his chest. He took her small hand in his large one and then wrapped his arm around her waist as if he'd held her a hundred times before. She rested her head against his chest, one arm around his neck and her eyes closed as they swayed to the beat of the slow song.

"How long do you think it'll take him to ask her out?" Clint mused to Bruce.

Bruce shrugged, a pang of jealously flaring in his heart. If one of Natasha's closest friends conjectured that there was liaison between them, surely there had to be. "You' think he wants to ask her out?" He looked at Clint momentarily before he looked back at them slow dancing.

He watched the way Steve gazed down at Natasha and when she tilted her chin up to look at him, he smiled adoringly. She laid her head back down on his chest as a smile of her own tugged at the corner of her lips.

Bruce realized then that maybe it was time to move on. The love between them was evident, and who was he to deny their joy? They were his teammates... he wanted them to be happy, even if he longed for Natasha to be his. They both had lost so much in their lifetimes, and he knew Steve would always treat Natasha with the respect she utterly deserved - he would love her the way she deserved.

 _Yeah_ , it was definitely time for him to move on.

"I'll give him two months to ask her out." Bruce said to Clint with a smile.

• • •

**[ I I I ]**

Peter Parker was entirely ecstatic to be spending the night in the Stark Tower for the very first time. Tony had thought it would be good for him to get to know the team before he officially began his 'internship,' and Peter was grateful for his hospitality. Everyone he'd met had been extraordinary kind and understanding, even when he had gotten lost in the stately hallways while trying to find the guest bedroom he was staying the night in. He had never seen such an embellished building - each photo hanging on the wall was evidently expensive and each chandelier sparkled like diamonds above his head. For a brief moment as he watched the gems glimmer in the light, he conjectured if he would be able to swing from them.

"Don't even think about it, kid." Steve Rogers smirked at him, the man perceiving Peter's look from where he sat across from him in the central den.

Peter was abashed at the fact he had been caught and looked back at the television playing the movie Fast and Furious. He, Steve, Tony, and Sam had settled down to watch it, but he was _still_ trying not to get starstruck being surrounded by such eloquent heroes. He hoped to be half as good as them one day, but he knew that he still had a ways to go.

He heard the elevator open in the hallway with a _ding_ and the distinct sound of women's voices. The infamous Black Widow and Maria Hill, Shield's commander, soon strode into the living room, conversing about their workout earlier that day. Although, he had heard dismal stories about Natasha Romanoff, he still admired her drive to do good in the world, and Maria had been extraordinary helpful in guiding Peter throughout his internship. He shyly smiled at them in greeting as he leaned back into the plush, leather couch, and they both returned his cordial smile as they strode past the television and into the kitchen.

Just as silence settled over the room, Natasha shouted. "Steve, damn you!"

Steve froze, his azure eyes widening as Natasha stepped into the doorframe, her hands on her hips as her emerald eyes glared at him. It was then that Peter, who was blatantly observant, perceived that Natasha was wearing a Dodgers sweatshirt that was definitely not hers as it was far too big for her lithe frame. For a moment, he conjectured whose it actually was.

"I told you, man." Tony smirked at Steve, evidently knowing something that Peter didn't.

Steve swiftly stood from the couch, a vivid flush rising to his face as he walked over to Natasha. "I trusted you, and you had the audacity to eat them..." She hissed through her teeth,

"What happened?" Peter asked curiously, glancing at Tony sitting beside him on the couch.

"Those chocolates he was eating earlier? They weren't his, and you never eat a Russian's chocolates." Tony replied. "Your about to see Captain America get his ass whooped."

Steve reached out to take Natasha's hand, but she swiftly drew away from him as if his touch had scalded her. "I'm sorry... I'll go out and get more right now." He said. Peter imagined if wounded puppies could talk, one would sound like Steve.

"Yeah? I bet you weren't sorry while you were eating them." Natasha snapped.

Suddenly, she lunged forward and kicked Steve's leg out from underneath him. He caught himself just before he hit the floor and reached out to yank Natasha's ankle, throwing her off balance. He caught her in his strong arms just as she fell with a surprised gasp.

"I hate you." She laughed in disbelief, glancing up at Steve just before she rolled him over onto his back. He moved under her touch, his vast muscles seemingly impotent against the woman he obviously loved as she sat astride him. It became apparent to Peter that the sweatshirt she wore was Steve's.

"You say that all the time, but I don't think that's true." He smirked up at her with confidence Peter didn't know he had. 

"When did they start dating?" Peter asked, his eyebrows arched. No one else seemed impertinent to Steve and Natasha. It was as if their adoring banter happened often.

Sam chuckled. "They aren't."

• • •

**[ I V ]**

_God_ , the mission had gone to shit all in the blink of an eye.

Tony Stark had thought that everything was under control but in hostile territory, nothing was _really_ modulated, and it had been precarious for him to think that. A week ago, Fury had assigned he, Rhodey, and Natasha to a civilian town in the Middle East inundated by terrorists who were planning to bomb the village. Their goal was as straightforward as it could be: protect the civilians, take down the terrorists, and attain their ammunition. The mission was nearly complete as the sun was going down and a vivid sunset painted the sky above them. The terrorists were arrested, the civilians were safe, and the only thing left to do was secure the explosives. Tony and Rhodey had been carefully transporting the bombs while Natasha oversaw the operation from the Quinjet. She been assigned the systems engineer for the mission while Tony and Rhodey were the combatants.

She _really_ was the brains of the operation, but Tony would never tell her that. She didn't miss a damn thing, and Tony knew that he owed Natasha his life in times like these. He and Rhodey had missed one bomb... one _fucking_ explosive. It's two-minute timer had been set off from the movement of the cargo, and Natasha had been the one to notice it. She had set off the town's alarm system, leaving the Quinjet to alert the civilians and implore them to seek shelter while Tony and Rhodey tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

The weight of the world fell on his shoulders when his team was put in harms way and innocent civilians were caught in the crossfire. The bomb could've been more potent... more people could've been killed... but it still had done plenty of damage. The Quinjet was destroyed, their communication system was down, and there was an ashen mess to clean up.

Tony, Rhodey, and Natasha had spent the night assisting civilians and working with the government to further protect those in harms way. Tony couldn't envisage the panic Pepper was in at home - those outside the remote town only knew that a bomb had exploded and people had died. Fortunately, the government agreed to fly them back to New York and a doctor had flown along to treat Natasha's wounds. She wasn't seriously hurt - she had needed stitches along her jawline, glass pulled out her face, and her wrist was most likely broken. However, Tony and Rhodey had still fretted over their friend and teammate. She didn't have any combat gear or armor to wear as she helped civilians to safety and after the blast, it took them an hour to find her buried under the rubble.

Tony and Natasha had a rocky past, but he still cared deeply about her. He could hear her voice in the back of the plane as the doctor treated her wounds, but it did nothing to reassure his mind in a whirl. He longed to contact his wife - his other teammates - to let them know that they were safe and the mission was complete. All they knew back at the Avengers Compound was that a middle eastern plane was scheduled to land soon.

"You' think Steve is going to be mad?" Rhodey said, breaking the tense silence between he and Tony as they sat down for landing.

"He won't be mad at us, but he's going to chew out Fury for this." Tony mused, knowing Rhodey was referring to Natasha getting hurt.

He would feel the same way if Pepper was sent out in the field without appropriate equipment. Steve and Natasha weren't married or dating but even he, a millionaire playboy, couldn't deny the love between them. Natasha had face-timed Steve every night on the mission and more than once, she'd fallen asleep while on the phone with him. It was glaringly obvious how they felt for one another, but Tony knew things were never that simple. If it was, he knew they would already be married and settled down like he and Pepper were.

Rhodey hummed in agreement and leaned back in the worn out seat of the aircraft as the wheels dropped and the plane jolted. "We survived a bomb, but we might not survive this landing." He mumbled under his breath, making Tony chuckle.

The airplane landed roughly but once the doors opened with a _whoosh,_ his heart began to pound as he thought about holding Pepper and seeing her beautiful face. It was really all he longed for, especially in times like these... to carry her away to their own safe haven on the lake and drown willingly in the extraordinary love he felt for her.

Although, it was only three in the morning, there was people already waiting on the landing pad as Tony stepped out of the plane and under dark New York sky. The cold was frigid compared to the Middle East, but he hardly noticed it as he looked around for Pepper. 

Maria rushed up to him a few moments later, flinging herself around him as she embraced him tightly. "She's on her way, Tony!" She said, knowing immediately who he was looking for. "They didn't say anything about you guys being alive. All they said was they were bringing our team back, and we thought that meant your fucking bodies." She cried with relief.

As Tony held Maria, who he wasn't even sure if he'd hugged before, he was able to fully comprehend the clamant situation. _They had thought he, Rhodey, and Natasha weren't returning home alive_. His heart ached painfully as he thought about their loved ones grieving and preparing themselves for the worst, thinking that they would be making funeral arrangements instead of celebrating their return home. It was then he was entirely grateful for Natasha who had alerted them, giving he and Rhodey time to suit up and take cover. They might not be alive if she hadn't.

"Oh, my God!"

Tony was pulled from his contemplation as he heard Steve exclaim and then there was the solider, rushing past him and Maria to Natasha being helped down from the aircraft by their pilot. She jerked away from the man, nearly sliding down the steps as she ran into Steve's arms.

Tony could hear his frantic voice, watching the way Steve pulled back from her to cup her face. He then run his hands down her arms as he looked her over, as if he was assuring himself she was really there before he pulled her back to his chest and held her closely.

"I t-thought you were... Jesus Christ, Nat." Steve breathed, squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed his nose into the nape of her neck. She embraced him just as tightly, the tension in her shoulders swiftly dissipating.

Tony looked away from them, seeing Rhodey reunite with the rest of their teammates. It felt good to be home, but it would feel even better once he saw his wife.

Maria pulled back from Tony as Natasha and Steve walked up to them, his arm around her waist as she leaned into his side.

"Do you need me to do anything before we head out?" Natasha asked, sliding her hand over Steve's arm as she looked at Tony.

He smiled at them, shaking his head. Of course, she would ask that. "Hell no. You two go home."

They bid him goodnight and he watched them walk away, wondering if tonight would be the night they _finally_ admitted their love for one another. Although, he was certain of one thing tonight. He would be holding Pepper just as tight as Steve had held Natasha and telling his wife just how much he loved her.

• • •

**[ V ]**

Bucky Barnes' smiled at the captivating woman in his arms as he drew her to his broad chest in the elevator. " _Mhm_ , how did I get so lucky, Wanda?" He hummed, sponging adoring kisses down the column of her neck. "I wish I could give you the world."

_He was certainly going to try._

He still couldn't believe that she was his to love. As soon as he had met the witch, he had been enraptured with Wanda and everything she stood for - her breathtaking beauty, her extraordinary kindness, and her unduly protectiveness over those she cared about. She had gotten inside his head in the most exquisite way possible, and she had him wrapped around her finger.

"You are always enough, James." She said, making his heart thrum as she reached up on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

A delicious shiver went up his spine as heat pooled into his core, his strong arms curving around the small of her back as he rolled her bottom lip between his. He gently tugged on the ends of her cascading, dark hair as she stole the breath from his lungs with each caress of her tongue against his. All he could feel was Wanda and with her, he felt like he was enough. With her, he was able to omit the ghosts of his past, the innocent people he'd murdered, his best friend he tried to kill, and how equivocal his future was. He knew that as long as she was by his side, he would fight for her and the goodness she stood for. "I love you, baby girl. So much." He murmured against her lips. She'd been in his life for six months now, and he swore that he fell more in love with her every single day. He had never really believed in love at first sight.... until he saw her.

"I love you too and once we get upstairs, I want you to show me how much." She replied zealously, her thin fingers reaching between them and brushing against his belt buckle. "Don't we have the place to ourselves tonight?"

He groaned as his hips arched into her hand, and he jerked his head in a nod. "Steve and Nat said they were staying at his place tonight." He mumbled.

"God, I can't believe they aren't dating yet. Don't they sleep in the same bed?" Wanda laughed, abruptly pulling away from him as the elevator doors opened with a _ding._

Bucky felt the loss of her touch instantly, and his fingertips twitched with the compelling urge to pull her back to him and make love to her in the elevator as he followed her through the main floor of the compound. "I feel like they already are and just aren't telling us." He chuckled, shaking his head to himself as he thought about his friend and the woman he so clearly loved.

Wanda shrugged in response, glancing at him over her shoulder as she walked ahead of him. Her eyes gleamed with ardor, and he stared back at her for a moment before she turned around. "You're killing me." He groaned huskily, his length hardening in his jeans as she swayed her hips sensuously. Their pace quickened as they neared the quarters, and Bucky almost yanked the door off its hinges as he opened it for Wanda.

Just as it shut behind them and he drew her into his arms, there was a moan, and it wasn't Wanda's.

It wasn't a pained moan, _no_. It was an orgasmic moan that echoed off the living room walls and into the foyer where they stood.

He and Wanda froze, their eyes widening, and he bit back a laugh. "So much for being alone." He grumbled with vexation. He had thought that he planned their date night down to-a-t but evidently, one of their teammate's plans had changed, swiftly relegating his arousal as he thought about one of his friend's having sex on the couch he had been planning to fuck Wanda on.

"Who is that?" She frowned, her lips curving up in an amused smile as they came to stand in the doorway of the living room. They tried to be loud enough so those caught in the compromising position would realize they weren't alone, but the woman's moans became wanton cries as a man groaned and cried out with her.

Bucky could've swore his jaw hit the floor as he saw who it was.

_Steve and Natasha._

She sat astride him on the leather couch, her forehead pressed against his as she ground her hips down, her breasts pressed against his chest as he held her closely.

"Ты такая красивая, Наташа." _[You are so beautiful, Natasha.]_ Steve moaned in Russian as one of his hands tangled in her hair, tilting her head back to suck _another_ mark on her neck.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she trembled against him and her nails scratched down his back. "I love you!" She cried out, rolling her hips with his. "God, _yes_!"

"Hello!" Wanda shouted, shattering the entrancing spell around them as she waved her arms. They were evidently too wrapped up in one another to realize they weren't alone.

Steve gasped when he heard Wanda, swiftly moving Natasha so she was behind him while she grabbed the blanket that'd fallen on the floor and pulled it around them.

"You two are _ridiculous_!" Wanda laughed in disbelief. "I have so many questions."

"No... no. Wait a minute. Wasn't Steve calling _us_ the horny teenagers last night?" Bucky said pointedly, smirking at them who were entirely flustered at being caught in a _very_ compromising position. "Jesus Christ, how long have you two been sleeping together?"

"We've been dating for five months." Natasha said, her cheeks flushing vividly as she peeked at them from behind Steve. "Now, can you please leave so we can finish?"

Both Wanda and Bucky's jaw dropped as Steve threw his head back with joyous laughter.

• • •

**[ V I I ]**

Clint Barton's world had stopped turning. He was gone... _Steve Rogers_. His teammate who pieced everything back together had sacrificed himself for the Soul Stone. He was gone in the blink of an eye, his broken body at the bottom of the cliff he had threw himself off to save the world. His legs shook underneath him as he stood on the platform surrounded by his rejoicing friends who had yet to realize their captain was missing. The room spun around him, and his hands began to shake as grief shook him to his core.

_How were they supposed to continue fighting without Captain America?_

Of course, Natasha was the first one to notice her husband hadn't returned with Clint. She stepped away from Tony, her eyes widening in panic. "Where is Steve?" She said, her bottom lip trembling as her emerald eyes glazed over with fear.

Clint shook his head numbly, tears brimming in his eyes as he stared at her. "I'm so s-sorry." He mumbled as a sob

"No... _no_... where is Steve?" She shouted, rushing up to Clint and grasping the collar of his ensemble. She shook him harshly, but he didn't fight her, even as she slammed her fist into his chest, knocking the breath from his lungs. "Where is Steve?" She cried.

"A soul for a soul... he scarified himself for the stupid stone." Clint said through sobs that tightened around his throat, and he wrapped his arms around her. Her body shook as he held her tightly, telling her how sorry he was even though he knew it would do nothing to ease her anguish. Steve meant more to her than even he could fathom - he was her world and everything she lived for, as she had told him one quiet evening on the porch of his house.

She tried to push Clint away, fighting as if she could go back in time and find Steve, but Clint's hold was unyielding. Her search for him was futile; he was gone - dead - for a _stupid_ rock. "He told me right before he jumped that he loves you... you' hear me, Tasha? He loved you so much." He said to her, recalling the horrific moments before Steve sacrificed himself for the soul stone, and Clint's heart began to ache like someone had twisted a knife through it.

She shook her head, her tears dripping onto his ensemble. "I-I can't breathe!" She gasped, clutching at her chest as she sunk to her knees, and Clint went down with her. "He can't... I ca-..."

Tears pricked his own eyes as he watched his friend grieve so horrifically that her words were lost in heaving sobs. "He loved you, Natasha. He will never leave you, even if he isn't here physically." He forced himself to say even as his throat tightened until it was nearly unbearable. They had lost a teammate and a friend, but she had lost the love of her life,.

Steve had showed her how to love, how to rely on someone and have something - a wonderful life - with him. Clint knew that Natasha had thought she would have forever with him, that she would never have to live without the man who had her heart. However, he also knew that they shouldn't promise forever. He couldn't even promise that to Laura and their children that he'd lost in The Snap.

"But he did leave me!" Natasha cried.

The others around them cried as well, realizing Steve wasn't returning, and they were unable to look away from the woman they thought was once unbreakable.

"No, he didn't, honey." Clint sobbed, holding her tightly as he recalled his promise to Steve just before he jumped, to make sure she was safe and moved on with her life despite losing him.

When Natasha woke up that night on the couch, Clint sitting in the chair next to her as he watched over her, she had screamed for Steve, his name bleeding on her lips as she weakly thrashed against Clint before she collapsed in his arms, sobs racking her shoulders. He had been afraid of this, of Natasha so overcome with grief that she stopped fighting. He was truly afraid she would put a gun to her head just to be with Steve, and he knew she'd do it too, no matter how desperate and uncharacteristic of her it was... _to just stop fighting._

Steve had been her reason just as she had been his.

Unfortunately, he couldn't relate to her either. He couldn't ease her anguish. _Yes_ , he loved Laura and their children more than life itself, but Steve and Natasha's relationship was significantly different. They depended on one another, saving each other many times in and out of the field, and they both _needed_ each other. It made him feel guilty, that maybe he should've been the one to sacrifice himself or even told Natasha and Steve a while ago that they were was too contingent on each other, that maybe she shouldn't sit in his lap _every time_ they sat down in the living room or that maybe Steve should've just gone to sleep on missions instead of calling Natasha just to hear her voice.

 _No_ , he wouldn't have been able to tell them that. Their relationship was beautiful, and they deserved that - _something even deeper than love_. Only now, Natasha had to find a way to live without the man she couldn't go a day without talking to. It made his heart break all over again as he knew her pain and her love for Steve would never fade.

• • •

**[ I X ]**

Steve was _gone_.

Her happiness, her love... her best friend had scarified himself for them - _the world_. They might've won the battle against Thanos, but Natasha had lost. She had lost everything, and she would never be able to move on without him. They were supposed to be together forever, to _finally_ move on after they saved the world with their team. They had bought their dream house just two weeks before he left her all alone but now, she could hardly drag herself out of Pepper and Tony's guest bedroom to eat. She was stuck in a vicious cycle of crying herself to sleep, listening to the dozens of voicemails he'd left on her phone throughout the years, and clinging to every beautiful memory she had of her husband from their wedding all the way back to the first time she met him. If only she could go back in time again... if only she could've been the one to make the sacrifice so she wouldn't have to live without Steve. If only she'd gotten to say goodbye.

_I'll see you in a minute._

Now it was, 'I'll see you in heaven.'

She knew Bucky, along with Tony and Bruce's assistance, was returning the stones as she lay in bed pathetically crying. Tony was on the mend after almost losing his life as well and he really should still be resting, but he was determined to honor his friend. They were planning to bring back Steve's body so they could have a funeral although, Natasha wasn't even sure if she wanted him buried. Her friends had promised that she didn't have to rush to a decision. They just wanted closure.

_She just wanted him back alive._

She was grateful for her friends however, their extraordinary kindness, their support through her grieving as they cried and laughed together, sharing precious memories of Steve and their life they had been fortunate enough to share with him.

The bed springs creaked as she rolled over onto her side, clutching the photograph of Steve and inhaling the fading smell of _him_ on his sweatshirt that she wore. She wasn't sure what she was going to do when it completely faded. Maybe she would die with it as well. The pain was excruciating, and her heart was entirely shattered; she would never be able to put together the pieces again.

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door that pulled her from the darkness of her mind, and she swiftly wiped her eyes as she sat up in bed. "You can come in." She said softly, her throat aching from sobbing so much.

Wanda slipped through the door and climbed onto the bed without any hesitation. Her bright eyes brimmed with tears of her own, and Natasha wrapped her arms tightly around her friend as silence enveloped the room while they held one another. After returning from The Snap, Wanda was devastated to hear of Steve's sacrifice. He and Clint were fatherly figures in her life and being on the run with Steve had significantly strengthened their family bond. They were all still trying to move on, but some were doing better than others. Wanda and Natasha weren't doing well at all.

"I miss him." Wanda whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "God, this sweatshirt smells like him too."

"I know." Natasha sniffed.

"You should come outside. Bucky is about to put the stones back and get his body..." Wanda murmured to her, pulling back from Natasha to gaze at her.

She shook her head in a silent response, looking down at her trembling, pale hands clasped in her lap. "I don't think I'm ready to see him... dead." She said, her voice something akin to a whimper as her heart broke all over again. She wasn't ready to see Steve's empty, blue eyes, his broken body from jumping off the cliff, and his cold hands that would never hold hers again. He would never make love to her, never kiss her breathless and whisper how much he loved her and all he would do for her. He would never soothe her angst after a nightmare and chase away her tears with kind words that only he could offer.

Wanda nodded understandingly, getting off the bed and mustering brave a smile. Natasha tried to smile back, but it was more of a grimace.

She left and as the door shut behind her, Natasha laid back down and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep after Wanda left, but she was awoken to hushed voices and footsteps on the hardwood floors.

The bed dipped with a heavy weight beside her, and she groaned with vexation. Of course, someone had to interrupt the little sleep she had been able to scum to since Steve had died.

"Nat, baby."

She sat up abruptly, hearing his voice like he was right beside her.

_But he was._

Surely, it had to be a dream. Surely, his handsome face was an illusion that her mind had evoked to ease her anguish. His eyes were still the color of the ocean - the eyes she so willingly drowned in - his muscular body still towered above hers in the way it always had, and his voice sounded the same. It was still the same voice that had whispered praise and love in her ear.

_But he couldn't be real._

_He was dead._

She stared at him, her emerald eyes wide with disbelief and her hands trembling. She desperately yearned to reach out and touch him, to pull him close and never let him go, but she was _afraid_. She was terrified that as soon as she did, he would disappear before her eyes.

Like the understanding man Steve Rogers _was,_ he smiled despondently as he perceived the tears in her tired eyes and the way she heedfully regarded him. He didn't reach out to touch her, letting her mind whirl in circles as she wondered why her hallucination had yet to dissipate. "A soul for a soul, baby... Bucky put the stone back and well..."

It couldn't be true although, it would _technically_ make sense.

Did she dare touch him?

She did, reaching out and brushing her hand against his. As her fingertips caressed his skin and dirt flaked off his hand, it finally clicked in her mind that he was, in fact, beside her. _That his words were true._ She suddenly jumped at him, taking him by surprise as her arms wrapped around her neck as she pressed as close to him as she physically could. "Steve!" She cried, squeezing her eyes shut as tears arched down her face. For the first time since their wedding, it wasn't cries of sadness. She was entirely overcome with joy as he held her just as tight, falling back into the pillows to curl around her as if he was protecting her from the demons that had tormented her for weeks.

"I love you so much, Nat." He whispered hoarsely, stroking her hair as he sponged loving kisses on the features of her face.

There was cheering and clapping in the bedroom doorway - _their friends_ \- but she didn't pull away from Steve. _She couldn't._ Not yet, anyway. "I'm going to kill you, you' know that? I'm going to end your life _again_." She sobbed although, everyone knew she was jesting and wasn't genuinely angry at him. Someone had to sacrifice themselves for the stone and of course, it had to be Captain America himself. However, none of that mattered anymore. He was _here_ \- with her - and no one was ever going to take him away again.

He laughed as he tilted his head down and brushed his lips against hers. She tasted the sharp twinge of blood and the salt of his own tears, but none of that mattered either.

Nothing could break them apart, not even death.


End file.
